Seriously can you trust or rely on others to be there for you when you need them? At this time in my life I really don't think you can. I have spent more lonely nights and days crying because people who say they care about me and are my "friends" have turned thier backs on me and judge me for something that I did that was wrong. God has forgiven me but I guess that isn't enough for them.
I don't even care if I ever go to a church again. This should have been the happiest year as a newlywed but it has been the worst last 6 months ever.
You know I went to Sunday School this morning and it was like people wished I wasn't there. Like I had a disease or something. This is the church that I grew up in and I have disappointed so many people that I'm not even welcome in the church anymore.
Maybe one day I will be accepted again, but who knows. I truly need to find a church home where people will accept me shortcomings and all. Please pray for me that I can let the pain go and move on.
Cindy, there is a church family for you and Jerry. I think this is God's way to open a new mission field for you--whether it be in a church in need of experiencing this thing call grace or a brand new church for you. In that I have absolutely no doubt.
ReplyDeleteRemember that Christ walked and talked with the worst of "sinners" in His day. When the "sinful woman" broke her alabaster to pour oil and wash Jesus' feet with her hair,Simon was insulted that such a sinful woman would enter his house. But do you remember what Jesus said?
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." - Luke 7:44-48
Cindy, Paul tells us that we've all sinned and we've all disappointed God but Christ came to give grace--grace that is not measured by the "size" of our sin... That is a measurement implemented by men, NOT God. We've ALL sinned period. No if, ands, or buts... And we are ALL in need of grace. The saddest thing is that Simon was not even aware that he needed grace just as much as the sinful woman. You have received that grace for whatever sin you have committed and Christ has forgiven you. When Christ looks at you, He does NOT see a sinner. He sees the woman He has created, He has loved, and He has forgiven. You are perfect and whole in His sight. Too often the world acts like Simon and when we don't receive those whom Christ has given His very life for, we have not received Christ.
I'm so sorry that "Christians" who say they speak in the very name of Christ can't offer the same grace He gives so freely. You are loved...You are accepted by the Most High.